Forbidden Snow in the North
by DanielBatskulls
Summary: Robb and Jon have been close since childhood, but growing up changes things. Robb is discovering more feelings for Jon than he anticipated, and he knows his desires will never be welcomed into reality. Takes place before Robert comes to Winterfell and soon after. Rated for mature readers. This is slash! (boyXboy) A mixture of fluff, smutty goodness, and tons of emotion.
1. Prologue

**Forbidden Snow in the North**

Prologue:

It's completely natural to want things we can't have. These desires are often expressed with hope that reality will not be so cruel, and all wishes will be granted, if only you want that thing enough. But Robb Stark knew better. His desires had to be toying with him, for war seemed an easier thing to deal with. What he wanted was forbidden, and he couldn't even attempt at expressing his thoughts without fear of retaliation. He almost hated himself for it – almost. What he wanted was Jon Snow.

They lived as brothers, though Catelyn Stark's constant disapproval of Jon reminded everyone that he would always be a bastard, never a true Stark. Robb couldn't decide if that made his situation better or worse. It's one thing to fantasize about your brother, and another thing entirely to fantasize about a bastard. Regardless of what Jon's title was, the problem remained.

It was another restless night for Robb. He tried to sleep, but his thoughts were relentless. Instead of trying to decide what his feelings meant, he wondered back to how it all began in the first place. As kids he and Jon were always close. It was completely normal, aside from Catelyn trying her best to keep them apart. They learned sword fighting together, and Robb had always won. Once they had held hands while heading to dinner until little Sansa mocked them, for only other little girls were allowed to hold hands with each other. But Robb didn't understand, and Sansa didn't much care for Jon anyway.

On Robb's thirteenth name day he wasn't allowed around Jon as much. He was to spend more time in the counsel, learning from his father and other officials, for one day he would be Lord of Winterfell, and Jon would remain a bastard. Though Robb got to see him for meals it was usually very brief. Winterfell had many visitors, and whenever a meal was had during this time, Robb was to dine next to his mother and father while Jon was sent away to dine near the stables.

That's when it all started. Robb looked forward to the small moments with Jon. Even just getting to look at him from across the courtyard was alright. Robb started noticing things about Jon, like the way he licked his lips after a drink, and how he examined his sword before and after practice, and how his face always beamed when talking to Robb….

But what did it mean? He really did try to avoid thinking about it, because it couldn't possibly go anywhere. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling he got when Jon's smooth brown eyes starred back at him, and he most certainly couldn't ignore the tingling sensation that coursed through him whenever they happened to brush up against each other. Sometimes Robb even plotted ways to touch Jon, "accident" or not. And sometimes he decided to avoid Jon all together out of embarrassment, especially when Jon wasn't wearing a shirt. Robb had to admit to himself that he was attracted to Jon, since he spent some nights writhing around and curling his toes while getting off to the idea of taking off Jon's shirt himself. _Gods I need help_, he breathed. He constantly fought with the idea of separating himself from Jon, for his own benefit, but he knew he didn't have the strength.

Robb rolled over in his bed and shut his eyes. He had promised Bran he would go riding with him in the morning, and he needed rest. Before finally drifting away, he thought of what it would be like to have Jon sleeping next to him, and his heart ached.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

It was a particularly warm day in Winterfell. Robb awoke feeling rather comfortable, not even needing his fur coat as he headed down to breakfast. It certainly felt much nicer than last night, which for him had been a very cold and lonely night indeed. Usually he could go about his daily business without feeling too torn about his true feelings, but almost every night held the same emptiness and heart ache, to the point where the pain was as normal as breathing. Maybe one day it would fade into nothing, he thought. Maybe his feelings would finally disappear. But that would not happen for quite some time.

Robb found Bran sitting with little Rickon for breakfast. He was trying to help Rickon learn table etiquette, though it was clear he didn't much care for manners himself. Once Robb came into view, Bran's face lit up. "So we are going riding today, brother?"

"As long as you're still up for it, of course," Robb smiled back as he sat himself down next to his brother. Rickon was getting impatient with his porridge and didn't understand why he had to pretend to be polite while eating, so instead he picked up the bowl and brought it to his mouth as if to drink.

"Honestly, Rickon, have you not learned a thing?" Bran huffed, trying to sound like he was truly irritated. The bluff failed, and he and Robb shared a small chuckle as Rickon made a mess with his breakfast.

"The little lord will learn one day," said Robb as he picked an apple that looked sufficient enough for his breakfast.

Once he and his brothers were finished eating, they sent Rickon off to their mother and went on down to the stables to ready their horses. Although there was still snow on the ground, as always, the sun brought a delightful warmth with it as it rose higher into the sky. The folk of Winterfell moved along with their days without their fur coats, and livestock grazed happily in the sunlight. Robb shut his eyes and breathed in deeply, enjoying everything he could about the day. His small moment was disrupted, however, when he heard Bran. "When will I get to sword fight, Robb? I want to join them."

Robb opened his eyes and looked around them to find Theon and Jon practicing while Arya watched excitedly. He watched as Jon skillfully avoided Theon's attacks, and responded with clever swings of his sword. A sweat was starting to form on his forehead, and he was wearing much fewer layers than normal. Robb wanted to go over there with them and take Theon's place, so much so that it physically hurt him to just stand there and watch.

"Robb?"

He snapped out of it and looked down at Bran, who had a curious expression on his face. He hadn't even realized how long he had been starring, or how intensely. "Come on," he said, and he moved forward to the stables without even looking at Jon again.

They said nothing as they readied the horses and brought them outside to the gate. Once they had both mounted their horses, Robb headed toward the front gate. He knew Bran wanted to say something about how he had looked earlier, but he didn't quite have his answer ready, so he did his best to avoid eye contact all together. Luckily Bran seemed distracted enough with their surroundings outside Winterfell's walls.

Jon just looked so _gorgeous _and Robb didn't understand why he couldn't have been there instead of Theon. Jon was _his _half-brother, not Theon's, but it seemed like he never got any time with Jon while everyone else did. He felt angry, jealous, sad, and confused, yet he just didn't understand why all of these feelings were so intense, let alone why they existed in the first place. He tried to ignore it all as he followed behind Bran, letting him explore as much as allowed on his own. He could still see the front gates of Winterfell in the distance, so they had not gone very far, but part of Robb wished they could just keep going, further and further away from everything and everyone; away from his mother, away from his future of being a Lord, and away from the man he would never have.

"Jon misses you, you know." Robb sharply looked up at his brother who had stopped his horse. Bran was looking at him with concern. "He often asks what you've been up to."

"Does he, now?"

"You should really go see him once in a while."

They didn't say anything after that. Robb didn't really have anything to say anyway, especially since he was so emotionally exhausted. They arrived back to the stables a little after midday, and not much had changed since they left, except for no one was practicing with swords at that point. Bran had asked if he wanted to join him for lunch, and he had declined. Instead, he went to his room to change into more comfortable clothing, and he really wanted to avoid as many people as possible.

What he really wanted to do was go back to sleep, but he knew he couldn't get away with that. His father would surely be expecting him for some counsel business, and it just wasn't like a Lord to be found asleep after midday. A hot bath sounded like the next best thing to do, so he grabbed his change of clothes and headed toward the baths while trying his best to think positively. It really was a wonderful day, after all, and it would be a shame to waste it due to his thoughts. He even passed a few servants on his way and greeted them happily. As he opened the door to the baths, he was almost smiling.

And then he saw Jon.

Of course he saw Jon in the bath – of course. He had been sword fighting with Theon for quite a while in the warm weather, so the next thing on his list was to take a nice bath to get rid of all the sweat and dirt. Although Robb could only see the top half of Jon's body, it was obvious he was naked – how else would he bathe? It's not like Robb never saw him like this. Growing up they often had to share the bath room together, but that was before Robb found himself going insane over Jon, who hadn't even noticed Robb's entrance. Jon's eyes were shut, and his head was tilted backwards as if resting. _I could just leave_, Robb thought. _I could turn around and walk out without it being awkward_. But even though he really wanted to do just that, he couldn't bring himself to do it. All he wanted was to be in the bath with Jon. Even just being in his presence was enough.

So Robb shut the door behind him and chose a tub near Jon. A servant immediately went to work filling it with hot water while he undressed himself out of view from Jon, in case he happened to look over. The lighting was poor, which Robb was thankful for, since his face was becoming a lovely shade of pink. He was near Jon, who was _naked_, and he was also naked. Without making a sound, he lowered himself into the hot water and then waved the servant away. The water felt absolutely wonderful. Robb shut his eyes and submerged himself fully under the surface. All sound disappeared, and suddenly it was as if he were alone. Down here he could easily pretend that no one existed except for himself, and he almost believed it. Once he came back up for air, though, reality would hit him hard. _I could stay down here_, he thought. Robb Stark had never contemplated suicide, but he figured if he accidentally drowned himself it wouldn't be so bad, although his family would have to deal with it afterwards. He stayed underwater until his chest hurt bad enough that it felt like he really was dying, and then he slowly brought his head above the surface again.

He immediately wished he had just stayed down there, because Jon was staring at him. It would have been more awkward to break the eye contact just to stare at nothing, so Robb acknowledged him with a nod.

"I thought you weren't going to come back up," said Jon.

"Down there for that long, was I?" Robb tried to smile, but it just felt forced. Jon's eyes were smoldering, and it felt like they were working hard to pry information out of him.

"Everything alright, Robb?"

"Sure is, Jon." Even just saying his name made his heart flutter. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes to break the eye contact. It was too much to take, especially after his emotional morning, and he was afraid that Jon would be able to read his mind if he looked into his eyes for much longer.

"Theon's not the fighter that you are. Why don't we practice together anymore?"

"We will again someday."

Robb knew he was cutting the conversation short, but he just couldn't help it. Talking to Jon was difficult, and Robb was never much of a talker himself anyway. It was part of the reason why he hated going to the official meetings. His mind was always full of words, but when it finally came time to speak, he just couldn't bring himself to release the words. But this time he was angry with himself. Too often he looked forward to being able to see Jon, and now that he was finally here and they were alone, he was wasting the time.

Jon gave up with conversation. Without saying anything more, he stood from his bath and stepped onto the floor. Robb made the mistake of opening his eyes. There was Jon, right in front of him, completely naked and wet. Robb's eyes widened as they traced every single detail, and he immediately became hard. His mouth parted as a small gasp escaped, and he couldn't tell if it was audible or not. Jon noticed the hungry eyes staring at him and then quickly looked away and turned red.

_Fuck._ Robb looked down, pretending he hadn't just been thinking about licking all the water up off Jon's body. They stayed like that for a moment, both entirely red in the face and looking the other way, awkwardly avoiding any recognition that the other was still in the room. It was then that Theon swung the door open.

"Shit, Snow, put some pants on."

Jon snatched his cloths up off the floor and dressed himself, still not looking anywhere in Robb's direction, and then left the room.

_Fuck._


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Jon tried not to think as he headed toward the godswood. He wasn't even wearing much other than his trousers he usually wore while sword fighting along with a loose white shirt. Even though it was a warmer day than usual, it still felt rather cold due to his lack of layers. But Jon didn't seem to notice. In fact, he felt hot in the face, and he was moving quickly, doing his best to avoid everyone, although it wasn't a very hard thing to do considering he was a bastard. Not even the servants offered him any assistance on a regular basis.

By now the sun had begun to set, and the temperature was threatening to drop to its usual chill. The godswood was empty and silent, exactly what Jon had hoped for. He didn't plan on speaking to the gods, but he needed some time to himself, somewhere where no one would bother him if the feeling so happened to strike someone to do so. He had to think, or at least calm down. He had known Robb since infancy. They were half-brothers, although he always felt incredibly inferior to Robb due to his situation. As kids they spent hours together playing and talking. To him, Robb was more like a best friend than anything. But once Robb was a man at the age of thirteen, everything changed. Robb wasn't around as much, and Jon himself was forced to slide further and further out of view. It's just the way things were supposed to be.

Jon missed his friend. Whenever he had the chance to actually see and talk to Robb, it was considered a very good day indeed. Jon felt slightly pathetic sometimes because of how excited he got whenever Robb walked in, and Robb would smile that prince-like smile of his, and everything else would disappear. Jon craved the feeling he got whenever Robb was around, and sometimes he would fantasize about what it would be like to just hold him, and be held by him. In a way, Robb was all he knew other than rejection and shame.

Things were different now. Jon sat next to a stream of water and tried to calm his thoughts so that they would form sensible words. He and Robb had a moment earlier – that was obvious. He had become extremely embarrassed once Robb looked at his naked body, and both of them blushed deeply. Though they stared in opposite directions, Jon couldn't make himself leave. Something was drawing him to the embarrassment he got, and it wasn't until Theon joined the scene that he immediately fled. Now that he was far away from Robb, he felt something different entirely. Perhaps he had just imagined the whole thing, and Robb was only trying to remain decent by looking away earlier. The only way to find out what really happened would be to confront Robb himself, or try to pry the answer out of him discreetly. Jon spent quite a bit of time just imagining Robb's face and how had looked in that bath, and it wasn't until the sun was nearly set that he made his decision – he was going to figure things out without confronting Robb.

By the time Jon made it to his room to change into proper clothing, he was shaking so hard he could barely get the door open. He'd been out in the cold for so long with barely anything on that he was freezing even after walking by several fires along the way. Light flakes of snow had collected in his hair, and he quickly shook them out, leaving a damp mess forming on the floor. He wasn't even sure whether or not he would be allowed at dinner, but he figured he might see Robb there, so he quickly left his room and headed straight for the dining hall.

There was no special occasion today, so the hall was not as packed as it could have been, making it easy to spot who all was there. He walked in slowly to scan the room, but was immediately greeted with a grinning Arya. "Jon!" He turned to see her just in time before she jumped into him and gave him a hug. "Come and sit!" She grabbed his hand and nearly dragged him over to a table where she had already started her dinner. He silently obeyed his sister's command and smiled at her. Arya was always warm and welcoming to him when no one else was.

"What's gotten into you?" he laughed as he started grabbing meat and bread from the table to add to his plate.

"Sansa's being her usual boring self. She doesn't like to talk about sword fighting and interesting stuff like that." Arya practically hissed as she said her sister's name. "She's nothing like you. When will I get to sword fight with you, Jon?"

"Whenever Lady Stark permits, I assume." Arya immediately went into talk about his and Theon's match earlier today that she had witnessed, and she was so enthusiastic about it that one might think she was actually a part of it. She was never one for lady-like things, and often threw a fit whenever forced into a dress. As Jon listened to his half-sister ramble on, he noticed Robb. He was just standing in the door way, unsure if he wanted to enter or not, and then his eyes locked with Jon's.

It was like the entire room became silent. Robb's expression changed quite a few times, but he was too far away for Jon to be able to read them. All he knew was that Robb just kept staring, and he felt like every action he took was being watched closely. Jon took advantage of this moment to test Robb's reactions. Without breaking eye contact, he slowly took a drink from his wine, and when he was finished, he licked around his bottom lip, being sure that he hadn't spilled any. His lips remained parted, and he smirked slightly, though just enough so that he could easily pretend he had been reacting to something Arya was saying.

Robb's reaction was obvious. Jon made that same face whenever he first touched himself on nights where he was particularly aroused. His recognition of the expression was probably what made Robb turn around and hurry away. Jon wanted to chase after him, but he remained consciously aware of Arya still next to him, and it would seem incredibly suspicious. What confused him was the warmth he suddenly felt that bloomed beneath his pants, and desires to see Robb's face with that expression again formed up to a point where he couldn't ignore them.

He finished his dinner without saying much while allowing Arya to continue to ramble about the things she's dreamed of doing but Lady Stark won't let her do. All the while he struggled with this new feeling that was so strong it threatened to burst out of him. Robb Stark was his half-brother, yet he was constantly reminded of how he wasn't a Stark, and for once he was somewhat thankful for that, because his thoughts were certainly not acceptable for one to have about family. Jon shifted in his seat and stared in the direction where Robb last was. "I think I'll head to bed," he said to Arya. Without a proper good night, he stood and headed in the direction of Robb's bed chambers. Luckily the halls were relatively empty so that he could move along without receiving questioning looks. Robb's room was in a hall on its own – a proper room for a Lord to be – so Jon made sure to quiet his steps as he approached the door. He wasn't even sure why he was there, or what he was going to say; he just knew he had to see Robb, at least so he could understand what was going on between them.

Maybe he had too much wine during dinner. Maybe he was finally releasing all of the pent of feelings of longing for Robb, and it was causing him to over analyze and react irrationally. Whatever the reason, Jon knocked on the door.

Silence.

"Robb. I want to talk to you."

He heard movement, and then the door opened to reveal Robb who appeared disheveled and anxious. He was wearing an undershirt, though it was lazily dressed on him, and he wasn't wearing shoes. "Jon." Robb took in a deep breath trying to hold his composure. They looked at each other for a while, both unsure of what to say. Jon took in Robb's whole appearance, and almost audibly swallowed.

"May I come in?" he almost whispered. Robb only nodded and moved to the side, letting Jon enter the room and move toward the fire. Robb locked the door after closing it, afraid of what would happen if his mother decided to come in for whatever reason. Jon looked into the fire, absorbing its warmth as he took time to form his words. "Something's changed between us."

Robb expected Jon to yell, or to tell him how disgusting he had been earlier; how this would never work, or how it was all a misunderstanding. His face fell. "Are you angry with me?"

"Angry?" Jon almost laughed. "Robb, I miss you. I just…" he turned to face his half-brother again as he searched for answers. "I miss you more than I should."

"I thought you'd hate me."

"For what?" Jon stepped closer, trying to understand. He himself didn't even know what he was saying.

Robb traced around every feature in Jon's face with his eyes. His hair was black as a raven, and much fuller than any other man he knew. His eyes were a smooth brown that almost had a permanent pleading look to them while still retaining strength. His mouth had a masculine shape, though his lips appeared full and rosy. He was pink around the neck, as if he hadn't quite gotten warm enough, although he had been inside for quite some time now. He was gorgeous, and Robb couldn't take it anymore.

"For this."

He quickly closed in on Jon and kissed him hard on the mouth, pushing all of his pent up desperation against him. His hands flew behind Jon's head, and he laced his fingers into the black curls. They almost tumbled backward into the fire, but Robb held him firmly, not allowing any room for the kiss to end.

_Oh_, Jon thought.


	4. Chapter 3

**Note: I apologize for the super long delay in this chapter! I've been so busy with other things and by the time I would remember that I still have this story I would already be in bed about to fall asleep. Maybe now that some things in my life have calmed down I'll be able to continue this without too many big pauses in between. Thanks for favoriting and following!  
>Also sorry for the kind of short chapter. I like to keep switching points of view and when I feel like it should be from the other side, I start a new chapter. <strong>

**Chapter 3**

There are moments in life where you think you're still dreaming, and you just sort of let your impulses take over because you aren't aware of consequences in the dream world. These moments either happen because you're just so tired that reality hasn't fully taken shape yet, or they happen because what you're seeing couldn't possibly be real. For Robb Stark, he was in one of these moments, because Jon couldn't have possibly come to his door in the middle of him pleasuring himself. Or maybe that wasn't so much of a stretch, considering he was pretty sure Jon was teasing him during dinner. Or maybe that was just a dream-like moment as well, and Robb was only imagining everything. Regardless, it had happened.

Robb had stood across the dining hall from Jon and watched him practically seduce him with looks and wine. Whether he imagined the intention or not, the result was the same with Robb, and it was becoming entirely too hot. He had to get out of there before something became painfully obvious. Once he made it back to his room, he stripped himself of what clothing he could remove patiently before he had room to reach down and finally touch himself. His cock was throbbing with need, and all he cold think about was Jon's smirk. But that wasn't the most unbelievable part of reality.

The deam-like moment had slowly disappeared, and Robb was now very aware that he was kissing Jon. Not only was he doing so, but Jon was _kissing back_. Although they were also embracing of a sort, it was rather rough. Robb was holding onto Jon and burrowing his fingers in the thick black hair with a such a force that it surprised him that Jon wasn't protesting out of pain. Instead, Jon held him back, one arm around his back and the other around his shoulder. They were both panting and stumbling over each other, but neither attempted to break the constant kissing.

_What is happening?_ Robb thought. Everything he knew now confused him. This was his half brother, and he had convinced himself that nothing could ever possibly happen between them - but here they were. Robb felt Jon's tongue lightly brush against his bottom lip, and he let out an involuntary gasp. There was no hiding his erection now, especially since it was pressed hard against Jon's leg.

And then Jon pulled back, just slightly, while still holding on to Robb. Without looking at each other, they took a moment to breathe, panting heavily against each other. The fire continued to crackle next to them, and the sky was black at this point. The residents of Winterfell were probably all headed to bed. Robb wondered for a moment if his mother was going to come see him or not, and he prayed to the gods that she would decided against it for whatever reason.

"Robb..." whispered Jon. It was soft, almost too soft to hear, especially since they weren't even looking at each other.

Robb panicked. "Shit, Jon - " He pulled back and looked him in the eyes. "I... I shouldn't have done that - "

"That's not what I was going to say." Jon's lips were lightly bruised from the harsh kissing, and he looked very red in the face. "I just... I had no idea."

"It's pathetic, isn't it." Robb stepped back toward the wall, unable to calm himself. He couldn't make sense of what just happened.

"Robb, I kissed you back."

He swallowed hard, and tried to keep his voice steady, but it came out more of a whisper. "Why?"

"I wanted to." His voice was calm, though he was clearly just as confused as Robb was. He remained still, his eyes almost pleading. "It's not pathetic."

"You don't understand." Robb sighed and looked away toward the fire. "You don't know how I feel."

"Then tell me." He took a step forward and reached out to Robb. "I may not really know how I feel, but I know I wanted to kiss you, and I want to keep kissing you. It feels more right than anything else right now."

"Jon, I've been feeling this way for awhile. It's more than just kissing. It's more than just touching you at all."

Jon held Robb by both his shoulders and forced his gaze upon him. "You are more important to me than anything. I'm not just saying that because of what's going on - I mean it. I meant it when we were growing up and I mean it now. I know what I want, and though I may not be able to put it into words, it's still true. I want this." He pulled Robb close and kissed him again, much more gentle this time. Their lips were still bruised, but they met with a kindness that warmed them both. When they parted this time, they looked directly at each other.

"You should probably head off in case my mother decides to go prowling," sighed Robb.

They looked at each other for a moment longer, and then Jon turned and left, both of them with the warmth of their last kiss still fresh on their lips.

Robb slept surprisingly peaceful that night, even though his mind seemed ready to explode. He had actually slept so well that he overslept. There was so much he wanted to tell Jon, and at the same time, he didn't want to say anything at all. His secret was out in the open, and he didn't exactly know what Jon was thinking. It couldn't be bad, considering Jon was as eager to keep kissing as he was. Robb wanted so badly to continue, and to tear Jon's clothes off and leave nothing but skin between them, but he knew it was too soon. They were both overwhelmed enough by closed kisses.

By the time he made it down to breakfast, Eddard Stark was already gathering some of his men for a small hunt. "Robb!" he called, a smile beaming on his face. "Don't you look mighty rested, son? Come, join us!"

He returned his fathers smile and headed toward them, already enjoying his day. To his disappointment though, Jon wasn't anywhere to be seen. He didn't plan on speaking with him since they didn't get much time for that anyway, and Theon was a nosy prat most times, but he had hoped for a few glances. "Where's Jon?" he asked, unaware that this was an unusual question, considering he'd never inquired about his half-brother's whereabouts before. He tried to hide his blushing face and his immediate regret at his words. Eddard didn't seem to notice.

"He's already sadled up waiting for us. Not everyone needs their beauty sleep. " He laughed a hearty laugh and patted Robb on the back, leading him outside.

_Oh shit._ Robb wasn't prepared to hold his composure around Jon quite yet, especially for the few hours that it would take to hunt. It could even take half the day. It wasn't too surprising that Eddard had decided to bring Jon along - he used to always attend the hunts. Nowadays Jon was ever only really noticed when he wanted to be. And sure enough, there he was, on top of his horse and laughing with the other men as they prepared for the hunt.

Once Robb was ready and joined the others, he and Jon caught each other's eyes, and both became a light shade of pink. Instead of looking away, they smiled at each other.

"What are you two smirking about?" laughed Theon. He rode his horse up inbetween them.

_Of course. _

"Come on now, you lot!" called Ned. "Let's not waste daylight."

The group followed him outside the gates of Winterfell and into the woods, with Robb riding near his father and Jon holding up the end. _This might be easier than I thought._


	5. Chapter 4

**Note: I'm making up for the very long time period between chapter 2 and 3 by making this chapter much longer. I highly recommend listening to the song "Winterfell" off the soundtrack while reading this. It sets a wonderful mood. **

**Chapter 4**

Everything made sense, and at the same time, nothing logically fit together. Some things happen so fast that it's hard to keep track of everything; every touch, every smell, every thought - they were all so strong and urgent that they took time to pay attention to in order to appreciate them properly. When you become aware of the feeling of your hair on the back of your neck, that's all you can think about, and then you start thinking about other feelings you didn't notice before.

Jon Snow had a lot to think about. He was so used to his longing for Robb that it became a normal thing, just like hair on your neck. It was present so often to where it wasn't even noticable. His feelings were constantly bickering, though. Some days he just wanted Robb's attention, even if they wouldn't be speaking. Other days he felt so pathetic for how he felt, so he's do his best to avoid all possible contact entirely. Those were his bad days. His worst days were when he tried to get Robb's attention, but it would seem like all his attempts would fail. Now he wasn't so sure if that was the case.

He was always aware of Robb's presence, but he never really looked closely enough. Being the bastard, he simply assumed that anything he wanted was out of the question, and he'd have to settle with whatever was handed to him. If Robb wasn't talking to him specifically, he didn't bother with trying to push things any further. But earlier on in the day, before dinner, and before... _that_... happened, he noticed everything about Robb in the baths. Jon had never been particularly modest; none of them seemed to be. But when he stood there, naked, Robb's expression was hard to miss. And then his senses kicked in, making everything overly sensitive. He was aware of the feeling of hot water sliding down his body, and the cool air of the room meeting his exposed skin. He was aware of the feel of air going in and out of his lungs, and he was very aware of Robb's intense stare. Robb's auburn hair was soaking wet, and the water was running from his forehead down to his neck.

It was like the world slowed down, and each movement was amplified. Robb's pulse had quickened, and a sound escaped his parted lips. Both of them became very red in the face, and Jon feared the heat in his face would quickly travel downward to a place where he knew he couldn't hide it. He was thankful when Theon had burst through the door. The stare he shared with Robb had lasted entirely too long, and everything had changed in that moment.

But that was nothing compared to the kiss.

It was like a fire had caught on dry wood, and everything was burning. He didn't feel Robb's lips at first - he felt his body rise in temperature and he became weightless, almost as if he were still in that hot bath. It was a beautiful and intense feeling at the same time, and he was almost knocked off his feet because of the force. That's when he realized what was going on, but he didn't have enough time to think about it. He was kissing back, again and again, and his arms were as rough as Robb's as then held each other hard. Everything he wanted was right here, and it all made sense to him.

They were going to have to talk about it more, even if it never happened again. Jon had too many questions. He had just gone back to his room and was preparing for sleep, but he still felt like the world was entirely too hot. Even though he was full of questions, his mind was oddly calm. All he wanted to think about was Robb and how his lips had felt, and how the world around them ceased to exist during that moment. Going to bed alone felt wrong. The space next to him was dark and cold, waiting for Robb's warmth. Jon slept lightly, waking often to the point where he gave up early in the morning and just decided to get dressed.

Jon considered going to the dining hall to try to eat a little breakfast, but decided against it. Sitting alone didn't seem appealing, so he instead decided on going for a walk around the grounds. He didn't often get to see the life of Winterfell when people weren't busy about their daily lives, and he decided it would be a nice change of pace to witness the grounds in a peaceful state. It was a rather chilly morning, so he pulled his coat up cozily around his neck and headed out.

The air was crisp and fresh, and he took care to fill his lungs with it gently in order to fully appreciate it. There were very few people out and about, and those who were seemed to be taking time to enjoy their morning as much as Jon was. He wondered if Robb was awake yet, or if Robb had ever seen Winterfell this way. Jon wanted be walking along his side and enjoying the air together, maybe even hand and hand, as they did long ago as boys.

How was Robb feeling? _Is he longing for me as much as I long for him? _ Jon wondered. The kiss was still a very vivid memory, but he missed the warm feel of Robb's lips against his, moving over and over again. _I miss him already._ Jon sighed, feeling suddenly colder. He shook his head and tried to clear his mind during the rest of his walk.

When he returned he went to the dining hall, and there he found his father a few other men. "Jon, my boy!" Eddard Stark went to Jon and patted him on the shoulder. "You're up early."

"It's a wonderful morning, Lord Stark." Jon smiled.

"That it is. How'd you like to join us for a hunt? It's been quite some time since you've gone, I think." Ned let Jon over to the table where some guardsmen were eating salted meat and bread. They nodded in his direction.

It actually sounded like a wonderful idea, and a good way to find use of his day. No doubt Robb would also be joining. "When do we leave?"

"Whenever Robb decides to make his way down here, I expect. Come, eat with us."

**~..~...~..~**

The hunt consisted of a total of seven men, with Eddard leading the way along side Robb, the guardsmen behind, and then Jon and Theon holding up the end. They headed out the front gates and toward the nearest woods, which wasn't a long ride, but it gave Jon plenty of time to stare at Robb's back. He knew they'd have no time to actually speak with one another, but there was plenty of opportunity to steal knowing glances, even with Theon doing his best to be a part of the secret.

"What's got you so chipper, Snow?" Theon said loudly.

"Something wrong with a good mood?" Jon countered. He just smiled and pretended that he wasn't just starring at Robb for a good portion of the ride.

"Well considering you spend most of your time moping about, there must be something you have to tell."

"I'm happy to be in your company, Greyjoy."

Theon didn't have anything to say after that. For the rest of the ride, Jon enjoyed silence, except for hearing the mild chatter of the men in front of him. Robb didn't appear to be saying anything, and he took care to continuously be looking forward. Once they entered the woods however, the line broke and all the men grouped together. "We'll go in a little further then dismount," called Ned.

Jon wanted ro ride up closer to Robb, but he knew Theon was watching. They weren't as far away from each other as they were on the ride toward the woods, but there was still no room to be able to steal glances. He knew he was being too eager, but he still missed Robb more than he could handle, even though they were around each other's company.

When the group came to a halt, they dismounted and left their horses to rest, knowing they wouldn't bother running off. And then Jon finally caught Robb's eye again. He tried to hid his smile, but there was no use. His face beamed, and he wanted to join Robb's side.

"Robb, my son! Why not show these men how it's done?"

The guardsmen laughed sarcastically and Jon looked away. Of course, he didn't expect much else to happen, but hope got the better of him. The hunt consisted mostly of him watching Robb and helping to load whatever animal they caught onto the back of a horse, and Theon remained surprisingly quiet. Even though he was within Robb's reach, it didn't do justice for the longing he felt. It might have been the same if they weren't even near each other at all, considering the struggle he dealt with in order to keep his distance. The joy he felt during his morning walk was gone, and it felt like another day with him trying to get Robb's attention.

By the time they were ready for the return ride, it was well afternoon, and each horse had at least 2 animals on their backs. Jon quietly followed behind the group, and Theon still didn't have anything to say to him. It wasn't as cold as it was when he woke up, but a light snow had begun to fall. When they reached the front gates, their hair was covered in the flakes, and the ground was turning white. Winterfell was fully awake and back to its normal daily routine.

They loaded up their kill on a wagon to be taken to the kitchens. "We have been granted with much meat on this day," said Eddard, addressing all of them. "Tonight, we shall feast together in the hall, and be thankful that the gods have been gracious." The men dispersed, and Theon went about this own way.

"Jon."

He turned to see Robb next to him. They looked at each other without saying anything for a few seconds until Robb spoke again. "I'd like to walk with you."

"Where did you have in mind?" Jon asked.

"The stables. My horse doesn't need to be wandering around."

Jon nodded and followed, walking his own horse along with them. They were finally alone together, aside from being out in the open, but Jon's smile had faded. He hadn't been much help during the hunt, and the painful desire he felt to have Robb to himself had become a constant, numbing feeling he had already been accustomed to.

They returned their horses to the stables and put away the sadles in silence. Once they were out of things to do though, the silence seemed to hold it's own loud volume. Jon felt Robb's piercing gaze burning through him, and so he gave in and looked back. And then he was pushed back through an open door that held wheat and shovels, and he stumbled into a stack of hay. Robb closed in on him, flinging the door shut behind them, and he smashed his lips against Jon's with so much force that Jon let out a muffled sound.

Robb kissed him over and over again, holding him against the hay. His lips parted, and he grabbed Jon's bottom lip with his teeth and sucked hard while running his tongue over it. Jon whimpered and wrapped his arms around Robb, desperate to keep him there for as long as he could. _Oh gods yes_, he thought. Robb pulled back, letting go of Jon's bottom lip with a wet sound, and he went back for more, kissing Jon hungrily. Jon gasped inbetween each kiss as he tried to breathe while also losing control. "Robb..." he groaned.

Robb barely pulled back to speak. With their lips brushing against one another, he almost growled. "I need you, Jon." He kissed him again, and pulled back. "Whatever this means, I need you."

"Oh, Robb..." Jon grabbed Robb by the sides of his face and returned his kisses with equal force.

They pulled back for air and panted heavily against each other while refusing to break eye contact. "Will you meet me in my room again tonight?" Although Robb's eyes were filled with intensity, the question sounded pleading.

Jon almost answered too quickly. "_Yes._"


	6. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reviews and favorites! I really appreciate it. I'll try to update this more often since my chapters aren't very long. **

**Chapter 5**

Robb stood next to his bed as he picked out what to wear to the feast. He'd helped catch many animals while on the hunt, and Winterfell was always looking for a reason to celebrate something. it wasn't often that they had much company, considering how far North it was from anywhere else, and the people of the castle were itching to find a reason to break out the ales. He settled on white and light brown furrs and an olive green tunic to bring out the red in his auburn hair. _I don't normally think on it this much..._ he thought to himself. But he wanted to hold on to Jon's gaze. He wanted to stand out so much that Jon would forget to eat, and would rush them up to Robb's bed chambers. The thought brought a strong smile to his lips, and his stomach felt unusually light. "Oh Jon..." he breathed. The name was like sunlight kissing his lips as the syllable escaped. Robb brought his hand up to his chest and felt his heart beat. _Why am I so nervous?_ It almost scared him, but no matter how anxious he felt, he couldn't shake the smile and intense longing.

The feeling of Jon's lips on his own was still a vivid memory, and it left him feeling like he could jump from the window and soar. It didn't matter anymore that Jon was a male. It didn't even matter than Jon was his half brother. What matter was it felt right - more right than anything else he had ever known. Jon was perfect, and no one else knew it better than himself. Robb pictured Jon perfectly in his mind, and went over every detail of his face. His face grew warm with a blush, and then he noticed something different about himself. Instead of just craving Jon's touch and lips, he was focusing on the fondness he had for him. It was almost a physical thing he could touch. He could feel his affection surrounding him and making his lips curve into smiles. He almost forgot that Jon's surrname was Snow. Now, in his mind, he was just Jon.

And so Robb Stark headed off to the feast with an extra kick in his step. The light feeling in his stomach had made him move a bit quicker than usual, and it was noticed by others. When he arrived in the hall, his mother was the first he saw. She greeted him with a small hug. "And how is my son?" she said.

"Very well, mother, thank you," he replied, his eyes scanning the hall for Jon.

"I expect you'll be wanting to celebrate with your father and the other men," she said, noticing his eyes moving about the room. He stopped himself, realizing his behavior seemed off.

"Of course. Best to dine on a kill you made together, isn't it?"

"Of course." They smiled at each other, and then Lady Catelyn excused herself and headed to Bran and Rickon, who seemed to always forget their manners while at the table. Sansa seemed preoccupied with starring at a knight across the hall, and Arya's eyes were fixed on the nearest window as if she were planning her escape. But Jon was no where to be found. Robb's smile slowly faded and his eyebrows creased. They hadn't really planned to both be at the feast, but Robb was expecting to get to look at him at least before meeting later.

Eddard Stark was making his way throughout the hall talking to as many people as possible. The guards men sat at their own long table with a roasted boar in front of them, and their cups were never shy of wine. Robb passed them and called to Ned. "Father!"

"Late twice in one day doesn't set right for a Lord, Robb!" joked Eddard. "Come, take a bite of your work and sit with us." He patted Robb hard on the back, almost knocking him off his feet.

"Why is Jon not celebrating with us?"

"Ah..." sighed Eddard, and he nodded slightly in the direction of the front of the hall. "It's best not to question your mother."

Robb felt a rage begin to eat at his insides. "Mother?" His voice was harsh. "Where has she sent Jon?"

"Don't worry about that now, he'll be alright."

Robb wanted to immediately leave and search for Jon, but he knew how that would look. He would be questioned about it, or someone would come looking for him later when he definitely didn't want anyone walking in on him. Instead, he sat next to the guardsmen and tried to drink some wine to settle his anger. The boar had been roasted and salted to perfection, but it didn't calm his fluttering stomach. _How can I eat when I don't even know if Jon's had anything at all?_ He looked up to where his mother sat; she seemed perfectly content, caring to her own children while shunning Jon from the entire scene.

He managed to drink two cup fulls of wine and eat a good portion of the boar, mostly to keep questions away, and also because he wanted to distract himself from his feelings. If he were to be noticably angry at his mother it would cause more problems than he needed. The wine helped wash down the boar well enough. Although he wanted to set out and look for Jon himself, he figured it was best to just go back to his bed chambers and wait. It took awhile to leave the hall, though, for it seemed as though every person of Winterfell wanted to thank him for the wonderful feast he had helped with.

When he got back to his room, it seemed oddly quiet. He didn't have a fire going, and there was no sound coming from his window. Everyone was still at the hall enjoying the feast, and the happy thoughts he had earlier had calmed, either because of the wine or because his anger had canceled them out. Robb stood there in the chilly silence and just focused on his breathing. He shut his eyes and dropped his fur coat from his shoulders. It hit the stone floor with a soft thud. Feeling colder now, he started a new fire and shut the door to keep the warmth contained. A light orange color flickered off the walls and his bed, and he wondered if Jon even remembered to come see him. _Maybe he thinks I'm still at the feast._

Robb layed down on his bed and shut his eyes. He wasn't necessarily tired, but he didn't know what else to do. Waiting for Jon, whether he came or not, was enough to make him so anxious that he couldn't think straight. Behind his eyelids he could see the flickering of the fire, and he focused on that until he heard a quiet knock at his door. His eyes shot open and he almost fell over on his way to answer it.

He opened the door just barely enough to be able to see who was on the other side. "Jon," he sighed in relief, and he opened the door the rest of the way to let him in. Jon looked cold - his face was flushed red and snow littered his thick black hair. "You look frozen... come by the fire."

Jon slowly moved past him and stood near the glowing embers. Robb shut the door behind him and made sure to lock it. "Jon..." he began, turning back toward him. "Where were you during the feast?"

"I went for a walk." Jon looked into the fire and avoided Robb's gaze. "I've had a bit to think on."

Robb's stomach dropped. He immediately regretted eating as much as he did. "And what would that be?" he spoke carefully.

"I don't quite know how to put it."

"We aren't the best with words." His stomach was turning and twisting, and he felt the wine in his head. Jon finally looked at him, his eyes intense and wavering on certainty. In a swift motion he dropped his coat to the floor next to Robb's and closed the distance between them. Robb felt the familiar softness of Jon's lips on his own, still cold, but with a hint of warmth to them. Robb sighed into his mouth, thankful for the kiss. But this one was different. There was no sense of urgency like the last ones they had. There was no need to struggle with animalistic desires. Instead, there was the feeling of Robb's stomach becoming too light again. The feeling was best compared to the sound of slow cello music, or the touch of a wool blanket when the air is especially chilly. It was strong and demanding, yet simple and calming. Their lips parted slowly, and when they pulled back, their eyes locked on to one another.

Without saying a word and without breaking eye contact, Robb gently pushed Jon back toward the bed. Jon complied, and layed back into it with ease. Robb climbed on top of him and continued the kiss. His mind was clear while racing at the same time. He thought of nothing and everything. He knew what this feeling meant, but he didn't know how to say it, though he certainly knew how to feel it. Their lips parted only for a second as they breathed, and Jon gasped. "Robb..." Hearing Jon say his name almost sent him into a frenzy.

Jon's hands cupped both sides of Robb's face and he held him there. His eyes were shut, as if here were struggling. "Robb..." he said again, although it was half a sob. Robb immediately became concerned, but Jon's hands didn't let him move.

"Robb, I love you."

Robb lost control. A sudden wave of emotion hit him hard, and he tried to hold back tears to no avail. "Oh, _Jon," _ he choked out. "Oh Jon, I love you." He leaned in and kissed him hard. "I love you, I love you..." Tears were running down his face and he spoke between every kiss, not letting Jon move or have room to silence him. He didn't seem to mind. Jon's hands had moved up and into Robb's hair, his fingers lacing themselves through the auburn locks.

"I love you, I love you..."


End file.
